I won’t desecrate beauty with cynicism anymore. I won’t confuse critical thinking with a critical spirit, and I will practice, painfully, over and over, patience and peace until my gentle answers turn away even my own wrath. I will breathe fresh air while I learn, all over again, grace freely given and wisdom honored; and when my fingers fumble, when I sound flat or sharp, I will simply try again.
Forgiveness is a heavy road. It’s also a lonely road.
“It’s a decision you have to make by yourself, and not just for others, but also for you.”
Now, I have heard this being said in many ways and by many people. At times, I too have experienced snippets of this wisdom in my own life…I am however, finding it extraordinarily difficult to do so at the moment.
I always let myself get worked up about things I cannot change. And now here I sit with writers block and whole lot of anger. Most of it misplaced and exaggerated over time. My pride won’t let me back down, so I won’t even see reason. At what point in this journey will God step in? Maybe He is already here… Maybe He has always been here. Waiting.
Maybe my level of unforgiveness is the reason I am not seeing God move and change situations in my life. The very pride that consumes me and hinders me from being reasonable might be the very reason I see very little good in my situation.
I just got off the phone with a friend if mine… who reminded me to be thankful of something that I have been taking for granted… Strength.
I am grateful at this moment for the strength that I have been afforded to not only get through this year. But the strength to excel… not just get by.
Present and grateful.