100 Happy Days: days 5/6/7

Okay so I’m catching up… Feels like this way will work better for me.

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Day 5/100
On Saturday I was grateful for the beauty and experience of contrasts. The day was filled with many forms and levels of contrast. I went from being confused to being certain, from not having a seat at the Nelson Mandela Lecture to having one of the best seats in the house. From early mornings to late nights. From watching young people use music to fuel toxic highs to being on an emotional high from experiencing Pops Mohammad and his band perform live.  On Saturday I saw the intricacy of diversity of life and opinions at play. And I was grateful.

Day 6/100
On Sunday I was grateful for failed plans. I had my Sunday perfectly planned. I was going to church and then to a birthday party. It all went pear shaped. But because things went belly up I ended up experiencing weird and wonderful things. On Sunday I felt like a gracious adventurer. If such a thing exists. Blind faith moments all the way. But that could only happen because I let go of what was supposed to happen and took in the joy of the present. And for that I am still grateful.

Day 7/100
Today I am grateful for Chumani Bontsa and Alvin Nyika. Shucks. Purpose flows through these gentlemen. But so does God. They have an awesome way of reminding me that God is mindful of his children. They also keep reminding me that being a crazy dreamer is the only way to live. Its such a blessing to have people who are not intimidated by my crazy. Instead the support it, and see the value in it. We measure our crazy by how many lives ,being ourselves, can change for the better, not by how many likes we will generate on social media; and it has been liberating. I love you gentlemen very much. Thank you for your continued presence in my life.

#100HappyDays #Gratitude

100 Happy Days: day 4

Day 4/100:
Today I’m grateful for meaningful conversations. Where honesty and vulnerability are strengths and where love is the foundation. I’m grateful for the people who can allow themselves to open up and watch you open up and show up. Thank you to Joel Motlafi and Lufuno Maraga.

There is hope when we can guide each other out of the darkness.

#100Happydays #Gratitude

100 Happy Days: Day 3

Day 3/100:
Today I am grateful for MINDS. An organisation that is filled with great African men and women who challenge the way that I think. As some point of the day I felt the creeping in of the fear of not being worthy to sit and engage with people of this calibre. But then I am reminded that the bible did say that my gifts and talents will put me in the presence of kings.

The King’s of my generation are in organisations like MINDS, making a difference in the world.

Thank you Lord. #100HappyDays #Gratitude

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My truth right now.

I feel this everyday,  the conflict of bring there for others,  as i have been for years,  or just spending time doing what I love and investing in me.

I haven’t been the easiest person to be around for the past few days because I feel stifled by my life. Not because I’m inundated with work but because I can’t seem to get the work I do have done because of this internal conflict.

And now I’m not being productive at all. I’m moody and angry I’m  carrying quite a hefty load of resentment.

Sarah Bessey captured what I’m feeling ever so perfectly. Her insight gives me hope. Not because I have someone paddling with me in my canoe,  but because there’s someone upstream who I can catch up with. 🙂

Sometimes I can think that pursuing my calling is selfish. I don’t know where I picked that up – perhaps it’s cultural conditioning, leftover bad theology, or something. On some sub-conscious level, I can feel guilty for taking time to create, for taking time to do the things I love to do, simply because I love to do them.

But the truth is that I start to falter without it. I become frustrated, tired, empty, if I’m not creating something, even if it’s just as simple as a few hundred words a day. I know this but I forget it sometimes. I skip creating in some grand self-sacrificial way but then everyone else ends up missing the best and most whole version of myself altogether. It isn’t until I sit down and do my work again that I return to the rest of my life – homemaking, raising children, community, church, school, marriage, all of it – as my most true self.

Sarah Bessey

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100 Happy days: day 2

This is a late post because I passed out like a baby.

Day 2/100:
I am grateful for good food. Truly. Very few things make me happier than good food and cake, and I had both today. The cake was in celebration of my amazing friend Londiwe Katleho Sithole, no birthday should go without cake. And she was no exception.

The good food was a creamy garlic prawn pasta that I made. It was delicious…my goodness. Tshimangi Tj Mulaudzi come home you’re missing out on good food.

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The sharing of food can be such an expression of love. Grateful that I have food and love to share.

#100happydays #gratitude

100 Days of Happy: day 1

Day 1/100:
Today I am grateful for my son. Tonight was parents evening and as always he was top of the class. An A in Mathematics in grade R is only the beginning. I’m such a proud parent. Even with all the changes and challenges that have come with this year, he’s still such a champion!

I’m also grateful for my ability to read. Something that is taken for granted by so many of you reading this. But my healing came in the form of written words today. And to be able to access information that can continuously change and mold me is such a blessing.

#100daysofHappy #Gratitude

Quote of the day…

Our Father in heaven is not an umpire who is trying to count us out. He is not a competitor who is trying to outsmart us. He is not a prosecutor who is trying to convict us.

He is a Loving Father who wants our happiness and eternal progress and everlasting opportunity and glorious accomplishment, and who will help us all He can if we will but give him, in our lives, the opportunity to do so with obedience and humility and faith and patience.

God help us to live to have his help, that these things which he has in store for his children, all of whom we are, may be ours.”

(Richard L. Evans, General Conference, October 1956)